A bit like how Jordan writes all her books, but for sex.The website markets itself as “dating, done for you” and promises to land you eight dates per month, depending on how much you’re willing to fork out for the service.A bit like Snapchat, the app timecaps your encounters, only letting you search for available and interested people near you for one hour.Unlike Tinder, the app doesn’t force you to link to your Facebook or other social network presence, meaning internet evidence of your shameful hour of need is minimal.You can then send them voice messages and videos of yourself, which to be honest will probably be used for more sinful than heavenly reasons really.You want to use Tinder, but you’re too busy, and you’re loaded (it is the perfect time of year for it with revision and student loans…). Aimed at rich single men with little free time to spare, Personal Dating Assistants provides an online profile management and ghostwriting service for dating profiles.Simply choose which of your friends you want the site to send you notifications about when there’s a change in their relationship status.Then, if your Facebook friend changes their relationship status, the website will send you an email, so you’ll be right in there straight away. As well as swiping left you can use the app to specify whether you’re feeling Heavenly (“Let’s go for a cute Frappuccino and take selfies”) or Sinful (“Hey, I would like to have sex with you”).
Breakupnotifier does exactly what it says on the tin.A basic ‘Weekend Cassanova’ membership costs £225 per month, or you can splash out on the top level ‘International Playboy’ profile costing a mere £903 per month.Whether you’re looking for “long term relationships”, “lots of casual fun” or to “wife up with your end game girl”, bear in mind the website addresses their particular clientele “If you’re reading this, then you’re probably already a reasonably attractive and successful guy.Using the microphone and ‘accelerometer’ to determine an accurate score, the app claims “All you have to do is start the application, put your i Phone on the bed, in an arm band, or even in your pocket and have intercourse, it is as easy as that.Once you are finished, press the stop button and view your results.” Romantic.Picture this – you’ve spotted someone you like flying past in a fancy car and managed to take down their license plate number before they sped off. You can then share your undying love for them and their ride by messaging them – probably something like “Nice rims” and not “I SEE YOU EVERY DAY WE’D BE PERFECT TOGETHER WINKFACE”.