At the first stages, all the participants in Guilford’s original study censored their own thinking by limiting the possible solutions to those within the imaginary square (even those who eventually solved the puzzle).
Even though they weren’t instructed to restrain themselves from considering such a solution, they were unable to “see” the white space beyond the square’s boundaries.
Are you aiming for that allusive “closure” in some shape or form?
Or are you doing it because you’re feeling desperate for some form of “contact”, any contact, with your ex?
If you are sending a letter (or an email) to an ex with no hope for reconciliation, no expectation for response, and with a view of letting go, and moving on I say go ahead and “go for it”.
If you can ask the question – affirmatively, then sure, go ahead and send it.
There are a few things you might wish to take into account if you’re feeling the urge to make contact with an ex: How much time has elapsed? Similar to “time” – your emotions are constantly changing thus so are the perceptions of your relationship and break up. Some days you will be sad, others angry, still others maybe empowered, and of course somedays you’ll be more forgiving than others too!
Only 20 percent managed to break out of the illusory confinement and continue their lines in the white space surrounding the dots.
The symmetry, the beautiful simplicity of the solution, and the fact that 80 percent of the participants were effectively blinded by the boundaries of the square led Guilford and the readers of his books to leap to the sweeping conclusion that creativity requires you to go outside the box.
That said, I do tend to take time to “sit on it” before sending anything emotional like that now.
I do consider all the points above and make sure when I send something it’s from a positive, letting go frame-of-mind.
When a relationship ends there are usually a number of things you want to say, after the fact, but often when I’ve written the letter (or email) it’s not really made a difference.